Saturday, August 1, 2009

Friendship, is it emotional??

First of all ,Happy friendship day to all around the world who value friendship!!

Friendship is kinda buzz word now a days in this fast moving world. I usually think, is friendship purely based on emotions or emoting to one another?? I have acquired lot of friends from my school days, college days, my working days and in NTU which i really value. My friends range from all ages and different ethnicity since i am in Singapore. I know Indians normally are very emotional in friendship, they laugh when you do and they cry with you. They participate or try to be in every good and bad of your life.So the friendship purely becomes emotional and the reason for lot of break-ups too. A simple mistake cannot be tolerated by mutual humans. I see the same happening with some of my Chinese friends who also seem to be quite emotional. The west has a different meaning in terms of friendship. People in their lives who have made an impact are called friends and rest of them are strangers "hi and bye"(acquaintances) kind of people. Does friendship need a space between individuals so that the friendship lasts longer or it should be based on emotional means???


  1. Human is an emotional animal so whatever he does he will connect it to emotions. Friendship is no exception to his emotions. I don't think there is marked difference in friendship between east and west. In west, friendship is much respected because family usually gets scant respect.

  2. Kalaivani KandesanAugust 2, 2009 at 9:28 AM

    Friendship is not an emotion. It is a selfless duty of an individual to the society. If everyone is self centered, and caters to thier own needs, the society will collapse.
    As a friend, i wish all my best for my friends.
    Humans are not perfect. But with friends, the world seems perfect.
    A true friend will treasure the friendship. Even when a friend dies, a friendship wont die. It lives forever. Friendship is so much holier than love and relation.
    An agreeable love that is valued is between a girl and guy who is compatabiale to each other in terms of thier lifestyle and life goals. Relation comes because of our birth and we bounded to it as a form of duty. But friendship comes from a selfless affection to a complete stranger who is from a totally different background. They might have very different goals, lifestyle, interest, religion, language and beliefs. But the thread of friendship binds us together. It can be the friendship between a girl and a guy, a friendship between a young child and an old person. It really has no compatability or matching, but just bounded by the selfless bounding that , 'this person is my friend, whom i care for, and i will be cared by.There is no catch in it. There is no selfish reason for it' That is not just an emotion. That is the BUIILDING BLOCKS of the society and the whole world on its own....A true friendship is not polluted by selfish desires of any one individual.

  3. Kalaivani KandesanAugust 2, 2009 at 9:29 AM

    But sadly in life, so many people come...Some people we thought of them as friend, but they are just acquitances who passed by in the life. We might had cared so much for them..But they will just throw you away when they find no use for you. They are not friends...They are opportunists.
    There are people whom we hardly did anything. But they will stand by you, in the times when u least expected. You thought of them as an acquitance...but they are the true friends.
    There are some people from the opposite gender when we care for them selflessly, they will mistake it as love . That is not friendship. That is the work of the hormones. They are not friends...They are people with over-charged hormones.
    When friends become emotions or some life strategies, it is no longer friendship.Frienship is not just an emotional bonding..
    Some friends due to our busy lifestyle we will not be able to talk..But in every important stage of their life, they will be there. They are like the mirrors of us, who will make us reflect on our bearings...
    There are people we will make it a point to talk everyday, but they will never show any care about you.They are acquitances.
    Everyone will have some nasty friendships which really turned sour. But, when you still as a friend, care for that same person who just hurt you.....that is the beauty of the frienship...
    This is not just an emotion. It is a much more like an ideal quality.
    Emotions originate from the physical body. But friendship is not a emotion. It is an ideal quality. If this is a selfless bonding...then all the concept about breating space and all is non-existant. A true friend has the liberty to scold you and tell u straight in the face. 'you are so stupid to do that '' Or she might even just say,''please dont do it.''..if you get offended, then u are not viewing her as a are seeing that she is interfering in your life or he has some selfish reason for it( she is possesive of you or just too obessive with you)..But a true friend changes for your life for the better. If you have the doubt that she has some selfish motives to do so, then of course, there is no friendship in it. Cos when once selfishness comes, friendship is gone.
    If a friend calls me when i am sleeping to tell her problem, i wont say,'please put down the phone''. As a friend, no matter how sleepy i am, i will say,'dont worry..i am your friend for you.Lets solve the problem.''
    Such friends are hard to come by. Cos there are so many people we talk to casually everyday for such a long time. But they are not friends. An individual who cares for you without any selfish reason , that is indeed a very good friend. Thats why, in days like friendship day, we express so much happiness to such people. And i am very grateful that god has given me so much wonderful friends. :-) Happy frienship to all my friends out there.. :-)

  4. First of all,awesomely mega post by Ms. Kalaivani Kandesan- kudos for typing it out.

    Unfortunately, friendship is what a person defines it to be. It may be that a person feels comfy with the "hello/hello" relationships with people or some may really open their heart out to the others. It is a degree of how open we want to be that defines how friendly we are. And each person has a different method of showing he/she cares- it needn't be all about emotions!

  5. P.S if the above makes little sense, I am a bit sleepy... All i meant to say is that friendship needn't be about emotions- the friend will know if you really care!

  6. @ kalaivani

    i feel u r a too emotional person :), the post reflects u. good that u have got wonderful friends emoting to one another like u. True friends are difficult to get but easy to maintain, since they may have some similar qualities like us which v most like about them.

    @ Narayan
    Some people want to have some space between individuals so that the friendship gets respected. it does not mean that they r not good friends and will not help u situation demands. only problem will come, when u don't know when to approach them, the problem is in believing them for the situation. Sometimes u r in a midst of huge problem, u will immediately approach more of ur emotional friend rather than these kind of people because of the faith in them.