Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Arrange Marriage - Is good or bad?

A great fan of vijay TV "Neeya Naana". It is important to point out because through that program Tamil people living abroad exposed to realities and contemporary issues in Tamil Nadu. Some of the issues discussed were prevalent throughout tamil history but some were contemporary. Anyway, the topic here for discussion is "Arrange Marriage". After watching a session on "Hurdles faced by Love Marriages" in Tamil Nadu. It boggles the modern mind why is the arrange system still preferred in Tamil Nadu while the literacy rate and urbanization are on rise. The veracity of violence against love marriages are undeniably horrendous. The burning question today is why isn't society comfortable with love marriages or why is arrange marriage still preferred?

Some of the reasons that come to any informed mind are caste, creed and status. Arrange marriage can be categorized as process of forced selection, could not be termed natural selection. Tamil society is not fully or partially liberated from the shackles of caste or religion. Many tamils regard caste as something bigger than life which is absurd considering if that person is educated. Caste is still prevalent in society because every basic amenities provided by government wants to know your caste. As a result people are bound to think on the lines of caste. Even education which is needed for the liberation of brain is provided on the basis of caste.

Complex issue of religion is another hurdle in a free marriage system. Religion is going to stay even if society reforms on caste issue. Every human treats faith something above themselves. Major wars were/are mainly fought on the lines of different religious faith. So changing people attitude towards other religion is very perplex. Something oblivious to common man is status symbol. Economic reason is one of the predominant factors in deciding whom to marry. In arrange marriage system, all issues are easily sorted out and parents settle on groom or bride. But in love marriage, natural selection is at work. It is really hard to woo a girl in Tamil Nadu because of the binding traditional values. Apparently tamils are ranked as most conservative among other south indian states.

Arrange marriage should be in place for tamils because of the complex issues which are disallowing people to fall in love. Tamils who are out of wedlock can use arrange marriage system to marry. If we choose to live in an utopian world of love marriage in Tamil Nadu, then better luck next time because tamils might take another century or some to drop their age old caste, creed and status. But certainly falling in love is the most pleasant period of one's life, a sorrowful end to the beautiful beginning of arrange marriage in Tamil Nadu.


  1. Velan, how about having a lawfull wife and someone u love?

  2. If you re really cool and capable enuf to woo a girl, by all means go for it. Do watch out for some pitfalls too. As for the rest of us, lets learn to live with what we get :)

  3. @Oleg thats what my point too.

    @Jagdish Yeah, thats why I am not against arrange marriage system in India. That system helps incapable people (I mean people who couldn't woo a girl).

  4. I think Arrange marriage is preferred because of Dowry. Lots of gold is what boy's parents wanna have in their houses at the expense of others' miseries. Even boys (mostly well educated and well settled) expect Dowry in our society. And it is interesting to know that we influenced rest of india in adopting our historical culture of Dowry.

  5. To Velan: what I mean is having 1 person as a wife , and someone else (Given your wife does not knows about existance of that person ) as a gf.