Sunday, October 18, 2009

Which is More Painful ?

To those who've been keeping up with my facebook notes, this is one post that you'd have already read. Once in a while when I really have nothing to do I go back to read the nonsense that I've written :D and I thought I'd repost this one here on Spotalks and see if it'd interest any of you.

Happy Reading!


Which is More Painful?

Everything in this universe, comes in pairs - it's the principle of duality, if you will.
Male and Female, Light and Dark, Active and Passive, Motion and Stillness, Anger & Peace, Night and Day, Love and Hate, the list is endless.

Evolution has been (un)kind to our race, with an added 6th sense, enabling us to feel, to sense, to express, to think, to dream, to rationalize, fueling an intrinsic part of human behavior - our need for intimacy and affection, to be taken care of, to be loved. And that very need in itself separates us, but not simply as men and women, how for centuries traditional love woes have been seen to group. Rather, men and women alike display duality - Some Yearn to be Loved while others Yearn to Provide it.

A relationship means many things to many people, but fundamentally, it is our need to call someone as our own, to live our lives in an undying companionship. When immersed in loneliness, there are two subconscious emotions one is bound to feel, fueling their need for a partner. They will either be sorrowed by having no one to shower them with the care and affection they feel they deserve and pine for, or, they will be burdened, by carrying a heart filled with love, a multitude of raw emotions, but the inability to nurture, or express their affections.

So which is more painful, and which side of the duality are you?
Are you seeking love, or are you seeking to provide it?
Are you waiting for someone to embrace you or are you waiting to cradle someone in your arms?
Are you looking for your tears to be swept, or are you looking to sweep someone else's away?

What does your heart truly desire?


  1. Very thoughtful writing, I don't the answer to your question. I think seeking love and providing love should be part and parcel of anyone's life.

  2. This isn't about the seeking and providing bit really, that happens in the relationship itself. This is about the stage before considering a relationship, each individual's personal needs. In my observation, every person falls into either side of the spectrum. They either feel like they need to be loved or they feel like they need someone to show their love to and THAT's what inspires their search for a relationship. You get what I mean?

  3. I think I'll pass over that one- but love the duality concept that you put forth! Rather observant indeed...

    P.S Moreover aren't people who fall in love the best to answer that one- dunno if anyone in the commenting section has that experience...

    P.P.S. Where do you fall??? :D (I know I am being evil on this, but I thought I would reverse the question!!)

  4. P.P.P.S about the P.S bit- people who mean to fall in love would be a more appropriate phrasing


    **feeling post (n times) script friendly today**

  5. i am of the opinion that its more of the happiness-sadness duality. maybe love is only a subset of this, as are satisfaction, achievement and so many other things.
    also, the heart truly desires nothing, because desire is a shallow term that becomes rusty with age, only to be replaced by wisdom.
    also, i had to come up with all this rubbish for being single, damn. :)
    (i.e, no idea)

  6. btw @narayan,
    i think outliers is a beautiful and a very dangerously disturbing book. i am beginning to question certain things i shouldnt be...

    sorry for the stray post.

  7. Haha well well... Looks like Spotalks needs to start recruiting some relationship-savvy individuals ;)

    After phD-worthy research (i.e. experience) (hahaha), I can say that I fall into the latter category - the "looking to sweep someone else's away" one.

    Anyway, this is a personal question that you need to ask yourself. Technically, it doesn't matter if you're single or attached or if you've had the experience or not. It's just about who you are. Yes, experience helps put yourself into perspective, but you can figure out on your own too!