A dangerous four letter

As we age, we live through different phases of life. The surging hormones change our physique and mind but there is nothing worse than the four letter words that spins oneself out of control. It transports oneself to an oasis in a desert. The world around oneself is transformed into lovely place. One's ears are blocked but it repeats those sweet voice again and again. It changes one's personality, behaviour and demeanour. One is transformed to be less rude, gentler and more helpful than before.

It fills in those empty, lonely, emotionless veins of heart and start to give meaning to beating life. It gives purpose and dimension to life. Nothing bothers oneself any longer, one becomes tolerable to put out any nuisance. This world is empty without this wondrous feel, I call it love like the following short scribblings.

"Like the stranded boats in the river, I wait stranded in my life until love came. Love showed me beauty, care, empathy,  intelligence, courage, literally " everything " and finally the purpose of life. This four letter little poisonous word transcends the borders of religion, creed, caste, nationality, race, language, age, cultural differences and all the differences this human civilization has erected. It is a miracle that evokes the feel of flying butterflies in the stomach, wakes oneself in the middle of the night and makes oneself roam around as a headless human"

I call this eternal LOVE.

Over Confidence and Failure - part three

As I mentioned previously I was not doing any tutorials in my first semester mainly due to my familiarity with the subjects. That arrogance really back stabbed me to barely score decent in my first semester.  I contemplated scoring really very well before my exams but I flunked. I categorized my failure due to over confidence and poor judgement over the pattern of NTU scoring. This failure put me into the dark days of my life since I usually been one of the top performers in my schools throughout I could not digest the poor grades. I was totally depressed for a week or so. Moreover, the depression was aggravated by my loneliness in NTU since I was pursuing Entrepreneurship minor during semester break.  I wanted a solid come back with good grades. So, I put myself into the art of reclusion and seclusion.

In the hindsight, those are some of the worst mistakes of my life. I should not have secluded myself from the main stream NTU population since I missed some real good experience of networking and guidance. I realized later that sound career decisions are usually made through networking. It is usually networking which opens the boundless opportunities of high flying jobs. Reflecting on my failures, I consider poor planning and time management are main reasons. My over confidence was the natural product of self esteem I gained from being one of few privileged  blokes from Cuddalore old town to pursue UG in NTU. I became philosophical to realize that failures teach more lessons than success so I changed my mindset to tackle any kind of situations in my life.

At the same time, my first year is not completely about failures but also new dimension of learning in my life. I met people from all over world, learned their cultures and tried to learn languages, experienced international cuisine. More interestingly, my education has become more analytical than rote learning which I was used to for more than 16 years of my life. I don't deny that rote learning happens in NTU but still better than my experience in Indian system. Through failures and mistakes, I was able to understand my interests and more importantly my strengths and weakness. That path of my life gave ample opportunities to develop myself as a good team player and leader. I have participated and also won several competitions during my first years with people from diverse cultures and different backgrounds. So, I consider this might be a beginning of new era in my life towards education.

For part one - Click here
For Part two - Click here

Quantum Leap - A new beginning - Part two

The world has changed in the part two because I have reached the brand new country called Singapore. That was my first air travel experience in my life, moreover I traveled alone. I was anxious in the flight itself, what awaits me in the shores of Singapore. When I reached Singapore, I saw confluence of east and west though west dominated in the eastern part of the world. Singapore, one of the most vibrant city state economies of the world. It has thriving population which accepts people from any parts of the planet and better known for its international cuisine and local hawker centers. My arrival was greeted by my friend Karthik who took a cab, which happens to be a Mercedes ride from Changi Airport to NTU. I was completely awestruck, when I looked at the speedometer and found 110 KM/hr.

Suddenly, I had a feeling of entering a forest in a small state that is none other than NTU. The campus has ample greenery and concrete. I checked into my room to find that my room mate is an Indonesian guy but anyway he was away. I thought to myself that I am gonna experience multiculturalism right from year one. To my surprise, on the next day when I went to hall office to inform my arrival they asked me to change to an Indian room mate. Anyway, he is not a Tamilian like me but a south indian. We gelled together instantly, I got introduced to many friends who had great credentials unlike me. Sometimes, I even felt like I entered some alien land. Then comes the usual Indian identity, I am not talking about food but ragging. I was asked by my seniors to attend ragging sessions every night at some particular place. I used to be a very timid boy from small town hence I was naturally uncomfortable with those non sense.

Moreover, most of them spoke only Hindi during ragging sessions. I knew little Hindi at that time and escaped almost every session because I could not answers those people.  My English, which previously  had heavy Tamil accent was ridiculed by Northies. In retrospect, those ragging sessions helped me a lot in improving my English language skills and people skills. Though, I never stayed in a cosmopolitan city in India but I came to realize the attitudes of Indians in urban India. It was bit uncomfortable for me to open up. As the time pass, I was able to mingle with almost all the races in NTU. Within a week of ragging, I was an expert in offensive Hindi and English language. I got offended initially because I was not called by those words before in my life. Sometimes, I used to think whether I came to a wrong university that admits only rogue Indians. In hindsight, those seniors have better grades and job offer than me. Hence, I eventually realized it is only part and parcel of Indian students' life in NTU.

First year of my undergraduate is one of the most memorable days in NTU mainly because I hardly studied anything. I was exposed to the culture of watching sitcoms and nocturnal habits. Classes are usually conducted in a huge lecture theater that almost resemble Sathyam cinemas in Chennai with all the woofer facilities. Lectures in NTU are presented through beautiful presentation slides, which mostly put you off in sleep. Lectures are usually recorded and posted online on elearning site in NTU. Apparently, NTU is one of the pioneers in elearning facilities. We also have excruciating tutorials classes to attend. We were told to complete tutorial sheets before the class but I never did those in my entire NTU life. Thats fun! not completing homework isn't it?

To read part one click here

A Dilemma - Part one

 As I said, I want to pen down my own journey to Nanyang Technological University in Singapore, I am here to share my dilemma in choosing the right university for my life. Many of my friends might know that I am originally from a small town called Cuddalore, which is nearer to Pondicherry. Though, Cuddalore provided mediocre education for very competitive world, I chose the hard path of switching my board from State to CBSE in 11th. For many who is reading this article will definitely see  this as a weird decision considering the fact that many students go vice versa. The sole reason for doing that is to challenge myself analytically and emotionally to equip myself for some great challenges later in life.

Getting into IIT was my dream, which ended as a dream mainly due to the lack of fundamentals while the kids from privileged background gets drilled from their tender age. Anyway my hard preparation of one year of my life gave me immense analytical sheer. The world of maths, science was not enjoyable for at least one year since I need to internally motivate me to slog long hours in solving some complex problems. I wouldn't say TN state board is bad but certainly it doesn't encourage students to solve problems so I really faced humongous challenge while comprehending the  IIT JEE problems first. Eventually, that experience was a real learning experience which tested my patience, perseverance in learning new things. Since, I was not actually preparing for CBSE board exams for one year I got damn scared before the commencement of board exams. So I took voluntary leave from boring schools and buckled down for exams. My memorizing capacity which I garnered from State board curriculum was a real savior.

I was able to master the theories of all subjects pretty well and confident before board by solving past 5 year board papers. Apart from English, I was able to score  well, particularly thanks to a friend of mine who helped me to score good marks in Computer Science; the subject which I abandoned until the exams. So, I was able to crusade the board mess with my good state board hand writing skills and presentation skills. But, still I have to prepare for engineering entrance examinations particularly AIEEE and JEE. Though, I totally gave up the confidence of clearing JEE, I did prepare well for AIEEE. I also applied to two Singapore universities mainly due to the advice of a Senior friend. After the exams, both the universities called me for pre-assessments.

I went to Bangalore to give my NTU entrance examinations. That trip to Bangalore was made awesome by friends of my Uncle who were damn funny commenting on the girls who wrote the exams. One of the guys during that time got an admit to IIM Calcutta. So he told me to take the NTU entrance exams seriously. Right after my NTU entrance, I had to write my AIEEE exams but I really screwed up the exams since I completely juggled marking of chemistry paper. I was shattered right after the exams because I definitely know that my chances are very slim. So, I returned home with a heavy heart. Then, there was huge fuss about TN engineering entrance. Ultimately, they did conduct it. I received my offer to join NTU, Anna university and also NIT (Some NIT in north).

I always wanted to pursue chemical engineering since chemistry was always my passion in life. I got chemical engineering in Anna but I forgot to put chemical as my first option in NTU. NTU offered me mechanical engineering. I had little guidance about NTU those times. So I called up that IIM dude asked for his guidance he urged me to go to NTU for exposure and learning. I solely decided to come based on his wise decision. I dropped my plan of joining Anna which was my comfort zone naturally. Hence, the beginning of different life in a new environment.

Love

It is been a long time, I have written something from my heart so I decided to pen down now.

The love, what I am talking about is not the romantic or sensual love between couples but it is something different which people like to do. They love doing that more than they do their wife (pun intended). Let us first look at some of the bad things which society has labeled it but some people love doing it. Drugs, alcohol, watching pornography are some of the lovely things people crave to do. Next art, writing, storytelling, inventing new technology, coding software and so on is in the list of things people love to do.

Throughout our evolution, God has given some gifts to all the people he has created but the difficulty actually lies in the person’s part to identify that gift. Education might be the best possible way to show case our area of love but because of the academic rigor in the schools we often neglect our interest areas and follow our peers. Not all the people are gifted academically only some are but our society compels us to be educated in the highest orders. The things we really love to do during our childhood may vanish in books of 10th and 12th board exams. Just because hordes of people from your college prepare for CAT you may really give up your cat feeding and loving habit.

Ultimately we end up doing something we never love to do in life. Our lives get boring but we never reveal it because some people may directly depend on you eventually. But some people are really lucky to identify that love in their early life and pursue it till the end of their life. They are the ones who tend to be the most successful in life or they are the ones who actually had an enticing life. There are lots of successful people I can quote but I don’t want to cite them. I don’t know the solution to this burning problem but I certainly think that parents play a vital role in identifying the best things in their children. If they continue to encourage their child to pursue his /her love then the child will definitely have enticing life but that is not the case in reality. I just hope that it changes soon.